Have you ever noticed just how little actually gets done in the average office?  It’s like the people in charge are looking for ways to create an office culture that is chocked-full of turtles who accomplish far less than their wolf counterparts.  What follows is a list of things management can do to create a low-performing team that stays out of the way and accomplishes just the bare minimum to scrape by with their jobs and a paycheck.

1.    Create a culture of cronyism.  Many managers do this and don’t even realize it.  They surround themselves with old college buddies, their nephews, or other people who don’t belong in the office in the first place.  These people are treated leniently and are generally given titles and perks that other, harder-working people are not.  This is a great way to lower morale and decrease productivity.

2.    Manage with apathy.  So many people work hard all the way up to management, and then think that they have paid their dues and no longer have to do anything.  When this occurs, there is always a reason or excuse as to why the boss is running late, or is gone completely.  When this type of manager returns from his or her unexplained hiatus, he or she rules with an iron fist, wondering why things aren’t running smoothly.  After a day or two, it’s back to the same old disappearing manager act.

3.    Overload your hard workers.  Rather than getting those who underperform their peers to work harder, keep distributing the work load to those who actually perform.  Why would you want the guy who takes three days to finish something on the task when someone else will get it done in three hours?  Just give all of the important work to the ones who perform.  Let the lazy employees get all the easy tasks.  This will certainly ensure that everyone decreases their productivity over time.

4.    Reward employees based on time accrued rather than merit.  Nothing says “you don’t really matter” to employees better than rewarding people for putting in time and paying their dues.  It doesn’t really matter if they’ve done a good job.  Simply pay them according to how long they’ve been willing to put up with their chosen profession, rather than what they’ve actually contributed.

Of course, there are many more things management can do to create a more apathetic office culture, but these are the main four.  If used all together, these can create an entire enclave of turtle employees who bear the weight of all their combined office inequities.  Implement these policies and watch your productivity go down the toilet.

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One of the unwritten rules of social conduct is that you should never engage people in conversations related to the topics of politics or religion.  Some people, however, fail to realize just why we don’t bring these topics up with others, especially in the workplace.  These topics can be particularly divisive and can create many problems within an office culture. 

Other uncomfortable topics of discussion have to do with finances and business ventures.  Oftentimes a co-worker will attempt to engage you in a conversation related to his or her home business.  None of these topics are appropriate for the workplace, end of story.  What follows is a list of a few tips for dealing with uncomfortable office talk.

Avoid those trying to initiate the discussion.

If at all possible, avoid the people who are trying to discuss divisive issues such as politics or religion.  Perhaps these people congregate in a certain part of the office or have lunch together.  Do your best to avoid these people when they are discussing these matters, and maintain a professional demeanor around them, avoiding rudeness or confrontation.

Don’t get involved.

If you absolutely cannot avoid being around these people, make sure you don’t encourage their behavior.  As the saying goes, silence is golden.  After a while, they may begin to get the message loud and clear without you having said anything at all.

Politely excuse yourself.

Again, if you happen to find yourself in a situation where being in contact with these people is unavoidable and you are uncomfortable, politely excuse yourself.  If someone wishes to confront you or questions why you are leaving, explain why in a neutral manner.  Letting them know that you don’t think it’s appropriate, whether you agree or not, is the main reason for not engaging in the conversation.

Change the subject.

Maybe you really do like the people, but don’t like discussing these sorts of matters at work.  Make a joke or try and change the subject.  Doing this a few times will let them know that you certainly want to be part of a conversation with them, but on another, less controversial topic.

Notify a supervisor.

If you feel that the conversations are inappropriate and are beginning to feel alienated or harassed, it is time to let someone else know.  Many offices and companies forbid discussions related to politics and religion, and trying to drum up business at work is certainly a conflict of interest.

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